Seriously, it's that easy. I know that you were all thinking that I was the chosen one from a line up of amazing models but noooo this is not so. It basically works like this.
Ring ring, ring ring.
Matt: Hey biatch! How do you fancy being in a TV show? $20 a scene? There's a woman here that needs a western girl.
Alison: Yeh man!
Matt: Cool cool, it's a date. I get 10% commission by the way -------(line goes dead).
Cheeky bugger.
Anyway so I got picked up at 8.45am this morning. And bought breakfast. Then a man that resembled a samurai put me on the back of his bike and whisked me away to the airport at a some stupidly dangerous speed.
I arrived on set (which was Ho Chi Minh arrivals lounge) and instantly I got pushed into a seat for hair and make up. They didn't really do anything with my hair but they plastered me with foundation and blusher. Whilst this was happening a really beautiful Vietnamese girl introduced herself to me. She's one of the main characters in the show and her English was amazing. She told me what my character was going to be as no one else there could talk to me!
So my character,
I was an American friend of the main actress. In the TV show she's a police woman and I was just coming over to visit. Not entirely sure why? My character seems pretty god dam pointless.
So my first thought - I'm American...but I'm English.
After hair and make up I get given the script and then came my second thought - JESUS CHRIST I have to speak!!! But the girl, I think her name is Lam, told me that they don't shoot the sound now! They do voice overs afterwards. How ridiculous. Now I know why Viet TV is so shite.
Anyway the script was utterly amazing. Not in a good way. The English was so bad I basically re-wrote the scene. Felt like a teacher and everything...Oh that's right I am.
So we started shooting and basically my scene was walking through arrivals with luggage and the main girl. She starts telling me about the airport and about Vietnam then asks me if I want a drink. I say that I'd love a coconut and say some shite about there being no coconuts in the USA. AND SCENE.Next scene I'm in the car park and the actress meets her family at their car. She introduces me to the fam (who look like characters from DALLAS!!) then I get in their car, but we didn't actually get in their car we all walked and hid behind it randomly :S
So that was my day of filming! I actually have one more scene in a club at night next week. I really hope I get shot by some mafia member or something because otherwise...why the hell is my character in this show?!?
PLEASE LET IT BE LEAKED ONTO YOUTUBE!!
So what else has been happening down here?
Matt was nearly battered by a policeman for standing on a chair on top of a table in an alleyway. He was looking on top of someones little hut house for a diamond ring that some stupid girl had chucked up there in a rage and instantly regretted it. OF COURSE.
We're going to Mui Ne on Monday, cannot wait! It's a beauitiful paradise beach 5 hours away. Going for 4 days because the city drives you insane after a while! The pollution is quite bad which reminds me I need to get a mask as I'm getting a motorbike/scooter! YES I AM you heard right. It just has to be done! My top speed will be 10mph but I don't care!
I'm also becoming a fashion designer. I'm going to design my own clothes and get the tailors here to make them for me! It's sooooo cheap! Girls get designing if you want something! I'll get them made if you want!
Finally, all is good on the work front. I have a 16/17 year olds class and they are amazing! One girl - Lam - is actually a thesaurus. She comes up to me and asks me things like - "What's an aglet?" Yes good question, what the fuck is that? - found out it's the end of a shoe lace. You know the plastic piece. That little piece of nothingness has a name. Then yesterday she enquired "Teacher, What's a Skidamarink?".
?????? Got to be an American word only they would make this up! (I LOVE YOU YANKS REALLY) I was right. I'll let you find out what it is. mwahahahaa!
Anyways PEACE OUT HOMIES.
Love y'all!
xxxxxx
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